Absurd as it may sound, there are few that venture to shop with the members of the opposite gender (for whateva reason). These can be as dangerous for their love life, relationships, etc just like the following:
1. Bungee jumping without the bungee
2. Diving in the swimming pool for kids
3. Trying out new food when your really, really hungry
The only thing that can be more harrowing an experience, could be shopping without a credit card. And realising it after you've stood for 1 hour in the queue for payment, thrown up your purse in search of cash, with about a dozen stuff to pay for.
Anyway, this is a gender free issue, and am sure the women will vouch that men are pathetic shoppers, and men will say that women don't know a damn thing about shopping.
Sooooooo, here are some tips collected from men and women across the world (Subject to the geographic location of my room in Bangalore) to help you, on such crazy, craaaazzy missions
Women accompanying Men who shop
- Men kinda know what they are looking for, and are ready to compromise here and there to get out of the store as soon as possible
- "Does this look good" translates to "Is this presentable" and NOT " Can I wear this and still look like a puppy on a leash when am out with you?"
- "Pink" is a NO NO. Whatever the situation. No Pink Handkerchiefs, socks or whateva
- Do NOT, repeat DO NOT involve in your own shopping unless you have pre warned the victim
- Haggling on the prices, irrespective of your good intentions, can get you abandoned in the store.
- "Cute" is not a suggestion. It is the most vaguest thing you could ever say.
- Men have smaller attention spans, so do not pick clothes for them. The lesser to choose, the easier it is for them, and the quicker you can head to lunch/dinner!!!
Men Accompanying Women who Shop
Well, your in a new territory buddy. Do not think this will get over soon.
- Shopping to women is like a sport, A hobby, A challenge. If your thinking pick-pay-go, your in for a shock
- If you have volunteered for this trip,then you should be prepared to spend at least 4-5 hours in 3 shops (Average) on a lucky day.
- You will actually end up as a baggage holder (The last PGCL* average said 8 bags). That's the least you can do, so don't ever complain.
- You opinions will be asked for, yet never considered. Yet do NOT make a comment you're not sure off. Carry a good dictionary, and a list of good words to be used.e.g Fantastic is not the same as good, which is not the same as Fantabulous, or pretty, or beautiful, or any of the other words you use to get out of trouble.
- Honestly, you're supposed to pay attention to every garment picked up, looked up, considered, thought off and not mentioned, garments of the last shopping escapade, existing garments worn, gifted, etc and be able to formulate a table in your head with rankings. (Vlookup in your head would be good here)
- Don't look grumpy. Smile a lot :) Else you will make her angry, abandon the escapade, apologize and then promise to do this all over again.
- Women shop in groups, so if your along then you will have to play the role of her best friend too. So be helpful, Or be prepared to spend a lot on chocolates and ice creams. And GUILT!!!
- Of the 100 odd dresses analyzed, not a single one may bought. This is normal. Wipe that dumbfounded look off your face.
I trust that you will think twice before taking such adventures, but then we do crazy things at times. I have had the "Experience" of pearl shopping in Hyderabad couple of years back. So hence the post IS based a little on actual truths :)
To say BBye, heres an add from Heineken. :)
Cheers
MaDdY!!!
*PBCL = Poor boy carrying luggage
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