The Fan Conspiracy

Date: Saturday, August 21st, 2010
Time : 1:30 pm
Venue : Adigas Restaurant, Indiranagar (Bangalore)
Victims : Yours Truly and A Friend

Conspirators : Drop Dead Ceiling Fan and "I-have-customers-management"

Script:

Victims walk in to Adigas Restaurant
, and order harmless looking South Indian Thali and Peaceful "Idli-Sambar". Through out the inconsequential talk, and cribbing, and more cribbing, everyones happy. Waiters give each other the knowing look. The Managers move around, lulling the victims into a sense of calm, oblivious to the "whirrrr" of silent ceiling fan above them.

As the clattering of plates and glass slows down, waiter comes in to clear table, but ends up clearing only the steel cutlery, allowing the ceramic weapons to remain on the table for maximum damage. Countdown begins.

At sharp 1:55 pm, bill is placed on the table. A random gesture, apparently.Victim 1 draws out purse and keeps the relevant cash on the table and it's promptly cleared. At precise 1:57 pm.....

"Kabooooooooooommmmm!!!!" (or relevant sound that you may wish to insert when a CEILING FAN FALLS ON THE TABLE )

Victims too late to react, Victim 1 shocked into staring at sugar scattered all over the table, Victim 2 realizes he avoided plastic surgery on his face by 1 cm.

Pieces of cutlery all over the floor, Victims shocked, Staff more shocked in the failure of plan, bring out cover plan B and immediately get rid of all proof by using "secret Broom" and "deadly Dustpan"

Scene 2

MKMK : WHERES THE MANAGER!!!

Silence

MKMK: Errr...Excuse me, could you direct me to the manager please...

A random head nod, which I construed to be pointing to the top floor.

(Background effect of heavy body running up the staircase)

MKMK: The FAn Fell down!!!

Manager: Oh Don't worry about that!!! You can go!!!

MKMK: *!##!!!

Silence

MKMK: Forgive us, we were sitting in the exact place where your esteemed fan falls down once in a while.

Manager: Ah. This happens once in a while. We can't help it

MKMK: How can you say that?!! Should you not be concerned about Customers ....(Random Customers take their seats exactly where we were sitting, and manger is asking waiters to collect the order) where is your sense of safety for consumers...(insert frustrated complaint here)

Manager: Ya Ok. (Turns away and goes off in to the fading tube lights)

MKMK: Err....Thank you.

As the rain pours down...two men in drenched clothes, walk towards another challenge, knowing that they survived another attempt at their ever so "happening" lives....

Produced by : 20th Century Cow
Cinema:  Moooo!  Productions