Somesh and me took our time. Crossing with deliberate steps across the basketball court, looking at the juniors shooting hoops with the new basketballs in the PT room. They were very much aware of our presence, nodding in our direction as we crossed. We stood at the side lines for a few seconds, and then moved on.
It was obvious Somesh and me would patch up; we always did, sooner or later. And I had more of a need to be with friends than before. My super friend Murali had been giving me problems. And my inflated ego was being bruised and I wasnt being able to digest the fact that someone could point out my imperfections.
It had all started with the college fests and the Pw issue. Murali wasnt a saint, that was obvious. He also had an equally big ego, and it began showing with his ignoring the rest of the "gang" and hobnobbing with the girls. I would say it wasnt an intention, but that was his nature. Where he dint get anything, he dint want to spend time.
That was where his problem with me had started. His estimation of my prowess in many things was way way overestimated. And slowly and suddenly he began to feel that I wasnt helping him out in his overall scheme of things. He couldnt understand that there were somethings which I had a natural talent for, and were nt a part of any disciplined practice. We had many quarrels, at the end of which, he always convinced me that I was doing something wrong and was injust. It was the first time in my life someone was walking over me at will, and I could do nothing about it.
I would have tried confiding in Somesh. But somehow I dint feel he would understand the stakes, the mind games that were going on, and the whole issue in totality. Though I did tell Mohan, and it didnt make much of an impact on his peanut sized brain!!!
As easy as Murali was dominating me, I was similarly blaming myself and my weaknesses. Half of my problems were because I liked the guy, I found that raging spirit to achieve in him. And the other half was my dependency on him to help out with getting to Pw. So I had made matters worse by blurting out everything about me to him.Murali had a habit of getting what he wanted, and he had built a close relationship with Roshan through me, therby getting vital support for his actions thru Roshan, who was also a super senior.
But unlike me, the others in the class werent as dependent on him. People couldnt take his attitude throwing, smart ass comments. His views on most of the things were outright unacceptable to the rest of the class, and other batchmates. And in ways they were blaming him for trying to make the "english" speaking people into a seperate group in itself.
Along the way, rumors were spreading thick and fast. And there were some of the "uncool" gang who had girl friends;Who always told them how "Murali the great" was berating them as cheap, dirty rascals, who had nothing to do than flirt around and boast about it. Tempers were rising, and I was becoming aware of it. But Murali always downplayed it. He never shared what he was up to with me, or anyone for that matter. His chattering with Pw drew me cazy with jealousy and irritation, but I could only hope it was for my good.
It was only a matter of time before the bubble blew, and it wasnt going to be long. In fact it happened sooner and began with me.
you have an award awaiting on my blog... congrats and a happy new year!!!!
ReplyDeleteAm not sure how these awards work!!! But thanks and a happy new year to you too!!!
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